off my chest :

i had to blog this somewhere, just because i have to let my feelings out somewhere. i dont have many followers, so i dont have to worry about anyone judging me or someone seeing this who i dont want to. recently, ive been trying to figure out whats been wrong with me and whats been going on. i let out a secret to 3 of my closest friends that i hadnt told ANYONE for 2 and a half months. i was so sick of everyone assuming i took diet pills or drugs, and it was really upsetting me, everyday. i couldnt hold this in anymore and i know i need help. ive been bulimic since the beginning of january and dont know where to go for help because i dont want my parents to know, thats the last thing they need right now with all the bad things going on in their life right now. i cry in the mirror everyday and feel disgusting and fat, to the point where i make myself sick. some days im ok with how i look, and others im disgusted and cant even stand looking at myself. some days im fine, other days im depressed over everything. i cant concentrate in school and get so distracted easily. i just want to be happy again, and i cant seem to find a resolution. i dont understand how everything can be so bad all at one time. this change is not for the better. after writing all this, it honestly didnt make me feel better. i just need a solution and i honestly cant seem to find one.